How to Refer to a Dick

One thing I’ve had to think a lot about when I’m writing about two men is how to refer to the man’s cock. It’s not easy to use the word “penis” because that’s not exactly sexy, and one of the main points of writing erotic novels is to make everything sexy. However, I always got really distracted when I heard of writers trying to use other phallic things in their writing, like “sausage.” I could never write something like that.

Because of this, I’ve resigned to using words like “dick,” “cock,” and “member.” There are also times in my gay erotic writing where I don’t refer to the appendage at all and just consider the man himself as a who entity. For example, I will say something like, “I gasped as he was inside me.”

I have to refer to dicks a lot in gay erotica. If you’ve ever watched gay porn, or homosexual porn, penises are a big focus–which is no surprise whatsoever. The cock is one of the defining features of male on male action (usually–there’s always trans folk, too, that may or may not have dicks but still make some hot ass content).

Then, we get to how to describe them. I can’t tell you how many stories I’ve read where the narrator/main character seemed to instantly know that their partner’s cock was twelve inches. I’m sure that I’ll make that mistake, too, since that’s what people want to hear, but it is always way too precise to be realistic. I mean, it’s all fantasy, but can we please at least try to let our readers pretend that they are in the scene? Nobody would be able to accurately measure a cock size with their eyes.

So, I like to have a few rules when referring to cocks in erotic gay writing:

  1. Cocks are not food–even if you do put them in your mouth.
  2. You cannot measure a dick with your eyes.
  3. Use words that fit the feel of the story. Classier, softer stories use “cock,” while dirtier, less passionate stories use “dick.”
  4. Don’t use “penis” unless absolutely necessary.

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